the closest friend i’ve ever had

i was 6 when we met
friends at first sight
you said you shouldn’t stay long
but i wondered if you might
the days turned to weeks
with you still by my side
you started to understand me
well, at least you tried

i was 8 when i told you my secret
of how i wanted to die
you told me you loved me
and i trusted it wasn’t a lie

i was 10 when we spent the whole summer together
riding bikes and staying up late
we did everything with each other
a bond we couldn’t erase

i was 14 when things got bad
you wiped my tears and held me close
you assured me it wasn’t about me
some people are just mean, i suppose

i was 17 when i couldn’t tell anyone
what was really going on
they wouldn’t understand
but you were there and sat with me
even when it took all of my energy just to stand

i was 18 when i had more friends
and 19 when i was alone again
they all threw their rocks
turned their backs and walked
but you sat down next to me and held my hand

now i’m 27 and we don’t talk as much
though we do visit every now and then
but don’t be sad
because no matter where life takes us
you’ll always be the closest friend i’ve ever had

-a letter to loneliness